On your bumper

Before I get into the matter at hand, I want to point out for those of you who haven’t seen it, that they painted the Heckler Building logo background turquoise.

I have no idea which building owner is going to be offended by my italics. Most likely they will never read this blog. I have you faithful 22, and that is enough.

Now. To the matter at hand.

I was pulling out of HEB (which, again, I know the store name has hyphens between the letters, but I am too lazy a typist to do that; I know I need only put caps lock on and type it out, and even this explanation of my laziness would be like four or five H-E-B efforts, but, you know), so I was pulling out, and the logo of the Ford F-350 truck opposite me caught my eye.

The King Ranch Ford is named after the 1,289-square-mile King Ranch in Kingsville, Texas. Its 825,000 acres slightly eclipses Rhode Island. This vehicle is like my having a “West 84th Street Hyundai,” except it’s real. (And King even has New York City roots, so how about that?!)

I was impressed to learn about this truck model–I mean, heck, with a state wingspan of 14 hours’ driving from side to side and a GDP that makes it the 10th largest economy in the world, ahead of Canada and South Korea, it sort of deserves its own truck. I also like the actual brand itself, that squiggly W. It’s reminds me of a camel, or maybe hot dogs for some reason.

Then I looked down at the bumper sticker:

It says, “My liberty is more important than your stupid idea.”

I learned back at the house that bumper stickers like this, for $4.99, can easily be found on Amazon.

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Frankly, my stupid idea involves temporarily suspending the driver’s liberty to affix a hot squiggly W on his tailgate.

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